Missing Somebody You Shouldn't

One of the hardest things in life is missing somebody you shouldn't whether they are an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend, family member, friend, etc. There really aren't guidelines for this and most of the time nobody knows how to handle these feelings.

I have found that a lot of these 'feelings' are not from missing the person them self but from missing the idea of them. In other words, it is missing the role they played in your life and who they were to you at a certain point in time. Things change in the blink of an eye and people change. You grow apart slowly at first, but then one day you wake up to find that they are gone. It feels like it's a sudden change when really it has been happening for a long time in advance. You just didn't notice until it was over.

It isn't uncommon for people to feel guilty for missing these types of people. They have been wronged by them, or other people in their life hate them which makes it hard to say you miss them. It is difficult to navigate no doubt. I think that it's important to not be ashamed of it. The past is gone, and a lot of the time we want it back. We swear we will appreciate the person more and not take that moment in time for granted if we could just have one second back. For one moment with the person who used to mean so much to us. We would give anything to go back. That's the thing though. Life is such that we can't know when the good old days are until they are gone. We can't see the value in a moment until it has passed. We are left with the quiet ghost of love, happiness, and comfort.

What many fail to realize is that we are left with much more than that. We are also left with the memories, and the ability to create new memories. It is okay to miss them but in doing so, keep your eyes open for the next memory to make. Don't hold back with the idea that you already had someone great that you lost. I don't believe in one true love. I believe in the idea that love is endless and when you have to let go of somebody, that just means you have more room to let someone else in. Remember to love fearlessly. Then one day if you are lucky, you will find somebody who will weather the storm and love you until their final days.

To summarize, it is okay to miss people. It is okay to feel pain that somebody is gone. What isn't okay is to feel like you don't deserve another person like that again. In fact, you deserve better. You deserve a forever person whether that person comes in the form of a friend, boyfriend/girlfriend, or husband/wife. Love like you have never been hurt, and don't you dare stop until you find them.