Lost What I Never Had

Many of us are people who continuously get in our own way. Over and over again we create obstacles for ourselves that normally aren't there. Obstacles.

Relationships are tough to maintain, but for some of us, they are even harder to get. I don't mean that we can't get a boyfriend or girlfriend, I mean some of us are emotionally closed off. I have seen love, and I have seen the bliss. Unfortunately, I have also seen it all fall apart before you even have a second to take a deep breath.

Heartache builds walls, creates obstacles, and prevents another heartache. It's like when a fire burns down a house. Well know in the house they don't light candles, cook with an open flame, or even dare to turn on the fireplace. At least for a little while because they want to prevent another fire. It's the same thing with your heart, it wants to prevent another painful heartbreak.

So, we think of all the reasons not to let ourselves fall. Fall into love, or fall into life in general. The idea of trusting somebody else to not break your heart is like a knife to the gut. It just doesn't seem safe.

Now, this is where we are. Standing alone in a crowded room. The one person you want to talk to is also the same person you pushed away. Also, for some crazy reason you feel like you just lost something, or someone. You find your self missing what was never there, and losing what you never had.